About a week ago I got a private message from someone on facebook. It has been a while, but I wanted to think about it before I decided to address it in my blog. I think it needs to be addressed because there are a ton of other parents, or single parents out there who have gone back to school. Whether because of job loss, or a desire to improve themselves, they have taken steps to further their education and make a better life.
I have to hand it to the person who wrote to me and congratulate them on the effort to make me feel bad about my choices. It was lengthy and while their logic was flawed, it seemed sincere. Were it not for all of the misspelled words and grammatical errors, it would have been a bit more cohesive, but I'll give their letter to me a C for effort.
They will remain nameless (dont' ask), and the post was deleted. It was an accusation that by going to school, and by using financial aid, and other assistance, that I was bilking the system, and was accused of using "welfare" instead of working my butt off to make the bulk of my money.
Being a part of the Metropolitan Community College has some great benefits. The support has been great so far, and while there were a few hiccups here and there, I'm still very thankful for everything.
Where else but a college atmosphere like my campus can you get Panera bagels n' stuff delivered weekly, have tons of activities to do, be a part of an amazing campus, help others in the community, have an opportunity to earn money, have access to knowledge worldwide through professional and periodical databases, have universal internet access, meet motivated intelligent people, get a great education, and still have time to relax once in a while. I'm just feeling very fortunate and blessed.
I guess today as I was getting ready to go back to class on Monday, it occurred to me that when you are given an opportunity to improve yourself, and to enjoy doing so, you should not carry with it any guilt whatsoever. We all strive to make a better life for ourselves and those we love. If I can accomplish this task, with our without help from whatever source, and if I can be happy doing it, I should not feel bad because I'm not out there laboring hard to achieve the same goal. Am I choosing an easy path? Well possibly, but truly this is the only path available to me to achieve my ultimate goal, to be a teacher.
The one thing that person (or people) does not understand is that I worked in a service industry. I worked for two years in Customer Service, and before that as a Lab Technician, and after that as a Pharmacy Tech. In any of those jobs I had, the only way to rise higher, or get paid more was to go back to school. That has been the case pretty much since I was much younger, left the fast food industry or labor jobs, and moved on to clerical work, for which I had earned a certificate at a college. Without any sort of degree there are limitations to what you can accomplish in the fields I have worked in office environments. More importantly, those jobs were tedious, and were stressful to the point that they were beginning to cause real issues. I had a choice after losing one of those jobs. I could reinvent myself in another industry, outside the service and clerical or medical field, and get a job doing something totally different, or I could go back to school, and get a degree in something I knew I would be very good at. I tried other paths, and they didn't work for me, so this time I chose to do both.
I could have kept working dead end jobs, or really busting my butt in places I don't want to be, doing things I don't want to do, and who knows, maybe I'd even eventually bring home a giant paycheck. That kind of money wouldn't be worth the paper it's printed on, at least to me. My goals and desires mean much more to me that material things and money. That hard and stressful job seems just as unrewarding to me as some consider my path to be. It may boil down to the fact that some people truly enjoy struggling and laboring hard to get what they want, doing things they don't like. In their mind, if you're not working, you're just a lazy layabout with no focus or goal in life, and no purpose. Well more power to them, you keep that hard stressful job that makes you feel important so you can look down on others. Good for you!
Perhaps they get some sort of cathartic satisfaction out of that. Maybe they are not able to achieve in academic ways, and that is their only choice. Unfortunately many times these "hard workers" then feel entitled to look down on those who choose an academic path, and what they consider the easy way. They enjoy poking fun at intellectual pursuits, or use of financial aid. It becomes almost sort of a fun thing to poke fun or disrespect people who are trying to improve their lives by the means that suits them best. I do not begrudge someone because they enjoy hard labor, and I have done quite a bit of it myself. Why should I feel guilty for attempting to better myself through education and using the tools that are at my disposal to achieve my goals?
I know it was a bit redundant there, but I think it needed repeating.
The point is that it's up to me what to do with my life, and I'm not hurting anyone. As a matter of fact my entire goal is to help people. Why else would I volunteer to tutor people, work with kids who have no one to go home to, become a teacher who is going to educate the children of the very people who criticize my education and methods of getting it. I was happy to add myself to the list of tutors in the English lab, and volunteer for Youth Friends. I'm going to be working with kids for the rest of my life who need to know that it's not only OK, but it's good and preferable to stay in school and make a good life for themselves. Is it because I'm applying for the things I qualify for while in school, like food stamps, or financial aid, or student loans? Is it because I'm not laboring out in the hot sun, or sweating it out in some other job, and instead enjoying an air conditioned college atmosphere while I work and study?
I am very thankful I have this opportunity to achieve my goals. Not everyone has this opportunity, and I get that. If they think it's easy though, they had better look again. Talk to Dr. Williams who teaches Psychology and Western Civilization at Maple Woods and ask him how easy his classes are, and how many hours of study per class hour you have to put in to make even a B in that class. Talk to any college graduate and ask them how easy it was to get their degree, especially while raising a kid who is going through High School. Sure we run a tight ship, and money is difficult at best, but we have an amazingly good life to show for it, and want for very little because to us, material things are less important than matters of spirit, and soul, and life, and fulfilling intellectual pursuits, and the relationships with the people around us who support us. That's money right there in my book.
So to the person who wrote to me: I really am sorry that your life is not fulfilling enough to the point where you need to lash out at others. I'm also sad that you cannot live and let others live as they would. I'm sorry you feel that me taking advantage of social programs meant to help those working to improve their life is "taking advantage" of the system, or you, or other "hard working folks" in order to play and have fun. I hope one day as I am teaching your child, or grandchild in school that you will realize that the teachers and the schools you value so much that benefit your family are here for you because of people like me. It must be quite the luxury to sit back and judge others without having gone to college to get a degree in law yourself, or any degree for that matter. My father was a businessman for the majority of my childhood. While I have NEVER had trouble with the law or any sort of legal issues aside from traffic issues, I made poor choices that left me with jobs that put me below the poverty line while raising my child. I devoted my life to making sure his was a good one instead of pursuing my own dreams. He is now a 4.0 student, earning college credit right along side me as a Junior in High School, and has a bright future that will likely outshine the businessman that my father was, and he will accomplish leaps and bounds above what I will be able to do. My son's life has shown me that I am an excellent teacher. That is my best destiny, and I can be the best at that job. Does it not make sense that I use the aid available to me to achieve my goals now so that I am not a burden on you "hard workers" later on? I paid into these programs as much as anyone, and I am using that investment now to make a better life for what will likely be thousands of students for the next 20 to 30 years. If you want to pick on me for that, you had better be able to deal with my friends and family, because they see the difference it is making in all of our lives even one semester after returning to school. Three years from now I'll be teaching with a Bachelor's degree, and making a difference in the lives of children. Can you make a boast even remotely as important?
