It's going to be one of those weeks

I think that this could be one of those weeks I have two papers to work on, and three really big tests.  I will be using all of the time that I am not in class studying fairly intently, and prepping and writing.  I have a Geography test Wednesday, I think the Psych test will be on Friday, an Education paper due on the subject of vouchers, working on an English paper, attending a School Board forum, and School Board meeting, those last until 10pm. It will be interesting to be sure.

That being said, I'm pleased with at least some of the work I've done.  I even scored 100% on a paper on Multicultural Education.

I'm starting to think more about my marketability as a teacher for exceptional learners while teaching High School students.  It might be interesting to teach gifted learners or slow learners, and might teach me a thing or two about how that dynamic works.  Still trying for dual certification in History and English, I want to make sure I'm teaching those subjects, and working toward teaching in a post-secondary environment.  Hopefully a 4 year college.  It's strange to think that the quality of a teacher is less influential than the networking you must do as a teacher to get to know the right people to get the job you want.

No matter what the case, it all works toward the passion I have to teach, and prevents me from working a high stress job that has a quota, and avoids working for companies that have questionable ethics and are concerned more about their bottom line than people.  I've had more than enough of that to last a lifetime.

Strange Days

This week seems many times harder than any other so far.  It has been filled with self doubt, and sadness, but even worse, it has just felt like a zombie sort of condition.  Major loss of appetite, aches and pains, stress, fear, fatigue, and freaky dreams.  I'm sure these feelings happen to other people, and they still have to get up every morning and go to work or school, so I'm definitely not alone... even though it feels that way.

So today my head wasn't in it for a Geography quiz.  I think I scored a C, maybe.  I have a paper due tomorrow that I have a rough draft for, but it needs major changes, using resources that I don't have, but I'll wing it.  Worst I could end up with is a B, I think.  I have an algebra test tomorrow that I am not prepared for, and I can't even guarantee a C on it.  There is another paper due Monday, and I think a test on special education.  There's probably a Psychology test next week too if I remember correctly.

This week, I'm writing off at this point.  I'll do what I can of course, but really, it's going to take some time and effort to get my head back into the game.  Effort I don't have, and time will be borrowed.  Sometimes... the prize loses its glitter, and the sky turns gray for a while.  Nothing is certain.

This one won't be linked to facebook.  I'm ashamed of the way I'm feeling right now.  I lack courage, and have no ability to will myself to do things right now.  It's not a pretty place.  The only good I can take out of this week so far is that I haven't gone over the edge in some really bad way.  That fact is more of a pain than a comfort.

Back from Spring Break

Lots to do this week for school.  I think this will be a somewhat late night as I have a few things to do before classes tomorrow.  I had to at least jot down a few notes on things so far, and my missing time.

So far things are going well grade-wise, and I think that I'm going to have to get very involved soon in interaction with students if I intend to do this the very best way.  Tonight if I have time, or definitely tomorrow, I'll be submitting an application to Youth Friends.  It is a one hour per week committment, usually after school, and it involves tutoring or just talking to a student about school and giving help where it is needed.  It allows a student and a teacher/adult a great opportunity to fill in the gaps where help is needed.  I'll be honored if I'm selected to take part in the program.  If I am accepted it will start in the fall as they require a full semester committment at least, and this one is too far along already.  From what the person running the program said, an hour a week can make a huge difference in the life of a kid who needs the help.  Exciting stuff.

I'm not done shifting where my time is spent, and as a matter of fact, I feel like I'm only getting started on that.  Idle time is going to be reduced quite a bit, and that includes game time, vegging out time, television, etc. I was just commenting today how I want to get much more active, and there's only one way to change that, and that is to act and not talk about it.  If I post later this week, and I haven't done at least a few things different, then I'm not making real and necessary change, and I'll need a swift kick in the pants to help me along in the right direction.  A little help?

Well I'm going to go have a salad for dinner and consume a Zip Fizz to make sure I'm on task this evening.  I've grown a bit drowsy this afternoon, so it's time to turn that around right now.

Today in class we started studying about Freud's theory of Transference, and how it is used in therapy.  We also had more discussion on Special Education, which concentrated on Inclusion and Law.  We'll get into those subjects more as the week goes on.

Excelsior! (to quote Stan Lee)