This week seems many times harder than any other so far. It has been filled with self doubt, and sadness, but even worse, it has just felt like a zombie sort of condition. Major loss of appetite, aches and pains, stress, fear, fatigue, and freaky dreams. I'm sure these feelings happen to other people, and they still have to get up every morning and go to work or school, so I'm definitely not alone... even though it feels that way.
So today my head wasn't in it for a Geography quiz. I think I scored a C, maybe. I have a paper due tomorrow that I have a rough draft for, but it needs major changes, using resources that I don't have, but I'll wing it. Worst I could end up with is a B, I think. I have an algebra test tomorrow that I am not prepared for, and I can't even guarantee a C on it. There is another paper due Monday, and I think a test on special education. There's probably a Psychology test next week too if I remember correctly.
This week, I'm writing off at this point. I'll do what I can of course, but really, it's going to take some time and effort to get my head back into the game. Effort I don't have, and time will be borrowed. Sometimes... the prize loses its glitter, and the sky turns gray for a while. Nothing is certain.
This one won't be linked to facebook. I'm ashamed of the way I'm feeling right now. I lack courage, and have no ability to will myself to do things right now. It's not a pretty place. The only good I can take out of this week so far is that I haven't gone over the edge in some really bad way. That fact is more of a pain than a comfort.
No comments:
Post a Comment